


If I Could Turn Back Time

by Eureka234



Category: Steins;Gate
Genre: Awkward Romance, F/M, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Romance, Sexual Content, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 14:00:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5208482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eureka234/pseuds/Eureka234
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okabe and Kurisu have been thinking about being in each other’s arms for too long. Without clothes, that is. This is a spin off of one of the last episodes of the series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Could Turn Back Time

**Author's Note:**

> This was written shortly after I finished season 1 of the anime. It is not following canon. Or is it? I just wanted to write this scene. NSFW. Enjoy.

I had confessed my love for a dear lady, and the silence that followed was torturous. Dull shadows softened a lot of the emotion from our faces. It was alluring yet unnerving.

Miss Kurisu stared back at me with big eyes. Silver, like the gleam of the windows. We were in the same room where we confessed our love in the other world line. We were repeating history only it was a different account of the same tale. The only difference was it wasn't raining outside. Yet it may as well have been. The curtains were closed and a grim colour. An eerie, murky atmosphere slashed at the air like a katana to my mind. The scent and particles of dust clung to the floor and walls like an otaku's underground game room. Daru was merely absent from the picture. 

"How do you feel about me?" I asked, heart pounding. I should have said those three words sooner. Why did I have to delay when timing was of the essence?

Kurisu blushed. "Close your eyes."

The words were more hesitant and softer than before.

I followed her command, praying that, for once, the events of this world line would unfold the same way the other one did. I begged for her touch, even if it was an imitation of it, a lie or hallucination.

She was so close it couldn't be anything else except for reality. Her gorgeous eyes disappeared from view as I blocked out the world.  

My lips quivered as she pressed hers, cold and tiny, against mine.

_Please. I don't want it to stop._

It was the same as before: soft, sweet and over too soon… I wonder if she could feel desperation on my breath as she pulled away.

I opened my eyes, half broken, half expectant. Kurisu's innocent expression contorted and her eyebrows furrowed. I was not ready for a philosophical argument or even a battle of the intelligences. I wanted all debates and criticism gone.

"What's that look for?"

 _I could play the romantic route like last time,_  I considered,  _but would that lead to the best outcome?_

"Girl Prodigy Miss Kurisu." A small playful smile curled at my mouth, "It's clear you've never kissed anyone before."

"How dare you!" Kurisu retorted, crossing her arms. "What makes you say that?"

"You're so nervous." I said with a grin, "Why, if you had any experience you would be making me beg for more."

The red head did not appreciate the game. She almost spat in my face.

"Are you disgusting or what?" She blurted out. Nearly as crimson as her hair, she span around. "Thanks for being a jerk. I'm leaving."

 _No, it's not working…_ my heart sank and my legs were temporarily paralysed,  _think of something else, quick!_

I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry Kurisu. I didn't mean to offend you." A silky elegance filled my voice as I tried to cover up the mistake, "I was just trying to be charming."

"HA! Charming?" At the very least, I got her turning to look at my smug expression. "Where do you get your ideas? Daru?"

If she wasn't walking out the door, I was winning. Teeming with confidence, I smiled shrewdly. "Only when I dream about you."

Kurisu gave a half-hearted laugh which turned into florescent blushing. She pulled her gaze from me.

That's right citizens of Japan. I know how to woo a lady!

"Please," she muttered, tone as sinister as if I had misnamed her, "If your dreams were even half as romantic as mine we'd have something to talk about."

My jaw dropped. I got a sudden vision of Kurisu as a geisha, stunning and elusive, fluttering her eyelashes. She would have the most intricate outfit, not to mention the most glorious red lipstick to match her memorable features. Such grace and poise! Here she was the epitome of sneaky.

The scientist noticed the subtle nuance of my stare and scrunched up her nose. I couldn't give up. So long as she wasn't departing a beautiful woman could have her nose so high in the air she could start hovering off the ground.

I took a step towards her.

She likes romantic things. I know that much now. Hmm, what was that movie I saw?

The girl's face softened, but her eyes darted to me and her shoulders were trembling. Was that shaking of fear or admiration?

I slowly moved closer to her face. As I did so, she didn't recoil. My cheek brushed hers as my nose pointed beyond her ear. I left her breathing for a moment. She was too taken aback to speak. We were millimetres away, the skin about to meet but not daring.

The only question that remained was whether I wanted to sound like an irresistible thug or a sexy rich man.

"When I dream about you, darling…" I murmured. "I wish I'd never have to wake up again."

It was something between the two, but it worked! The woman's pupils dilated.

"Oh…" Kurisu surprise was broken up into a strange mangled sound.

_What was that? Is she unable to resist her temptations?_

I couldn't hold back an almost predatory grin. I knew I could mimic a feral look from practicing in the mirror so frequently. I'd never perfected my method but I kept trying and reassessing. That is the sort of dedicated scientist I am!

I leant back to look into her eyes, still inches away. Kurisu's face was red and her eyes were watering. She gulped. "I, uh… You b-better not be joking, Okabe!"

I chuckled. "Is this the face of a joker?" I asked, lowering my voice again, "sweet, wondrous Kurisu?"

The red-head looked scared. "I hope not!" she barked.

I grinned. She was so easy to confuse. Not that I was trying to manipulate her…. well, I guess I was. It was for her benefit as well as mine. If I could figure out how she felt it might aid my resolve.

"What do you want from me?" Kurisu asked, clearly feeling intimidated by my change in character.

"More importantly, what do  _you_  want from  _me_?" I asked. I bowed. "I'm at your command, princess."

We were now at eye level, something so precious and yet intimidating! By the blushing Kurisu was certainly feeling something different... and unidentifiable.

"You think you're so chummy, don't you?" she kept a stony demeanour, "What if I just… I dunno… walked out the door?"

_No, you can't be so cruel!_

This trial was thwarted. What had I done wrong?

"Dear, if you offend me like this…." I tried the low, sexy voice, "Who knows if I'll feel secure enough to present this offer to you again."

I smiled playfully, and Kurisu crumbled under the spell. Joking or not, she had to follow along for the benefit of the doubt. She hesitated, and only walked away to lock the door.

She returned, a plan clearly forming in her mind.

"You know, I've always been curious what you look like underneath that lab coat of yours," she said, a malicious gleam in her eye. "If you're so serious, take it off."

My heart pounded.

No one has ever requested such a thing from me! Except for that time I shall not mention. Now I was the one with heat in my face.

"I, uh…" I give up! No! I ought to persevere! "Of course, m-my dear."

I turned around, and, fingers trembling, slipped the jacket off of my shoulders and folded it on the ground. I felt more skeletal than usual with just a shirt and pants. What was this obscure feeling in my arms? How did normal fools wear T-shirts? This was a grave injustice!

I strained my neck to meet the woman's eyes.

"Are you sure you want to look?" I asked.

Kurisu nodded, satisfied. "Of course I do. Turn around."

I did, covering myself with my arms. I had never felt so naked in front of someone! This was worse than any time in an onsen by a long shot.

Kurisu laughed. "You're pathetic, Okabe. C'mon, take away your arms."

I did, crying dreadful tears inside. "Do you enjoy this humiliation?" I asked.

The girl smiled. "Yes, actually."

Stay calm, Okabe. Think of the progress you have made. This beauty has stayed in the room and she is even enjoying herself. The best thing you can do is continue the trend – don't mess it up.

"Wh-what else would you like me to do?" I asked, voice meek and pathetic.

Kurisu paced the room and put a finger to her chin. "I thought of something, but I dunno…" she sighed in mock frustration, "It's probably too much for you."

"C'mon, Kurisu, I managed this, I think I can take it," my pretending to be confident wasn't working this time, so I added, "I will for you."

"Hmmm," Kurisu 's smile faltered, "May I… take off your shirt?"

_Badam badam badam._

"K-K- Kurisu!" I mouthed, stupefied. Words failed me. Kurisu's expression changed from one of silliness to intent. She paced towards me. I spotted a deep longing in her eyes, a desire on her tainted, cherry lips. How could I refuse?

"I think it's only fair I can request something of you next, yes?" I asked.

The scientist shook her head.

She got down onto all fours and crawled the meter towards me, tie dragging along the floor. "What if I can't?" she whispered.

I joined her on the floor. It was only right as lead researcher!

Her nose brushed mine and she gave a long, slow kiss on my cheek. It was gentle like a cloud. She breathed cold air deliberately down my neck and kissed me again.

"Okabe?" she murmured, and she grabbed hold of my shirt.

Mystified and ashamedly aroused, I took hold of her arms.

"Hey, that's against the rules." Kurisu protested.

I raised an eyebrow. "You're not getting away that easy, princess."

Before I could fulfil her request, I closed the forbidden distance between us and kissed her on the mouth. This time, I let my inhibition go. Cautiously, I poked my tongue inside and she welcomed it ever so gently. Forgetting etiquette, slow kisses sped up into passionate thrashing. Her mouth was warm on the inside, but cold on the outside- such a daring contrast. Heat shot through my body like poison. She tried to pull on my shirt, but I kept my arm steady. She wasn't allowed to do anything. Not yet.

Coming to my senses, I pulled away. We breathed heavily, sweating. I leant towards her ear again.

"Are you okay with where this is going, Kurisu?" I asked, sincerely. I could smell her unique bodily odour on her shirt.

Kurisu paused, squeezed on my arm and nodded. "I am if you are."

"I've never been more overjoyed in my life." I said. "Well, we should have a safe word, darling. What do you say?"

"I vote you don't pick it."

"Darn."

The girl's eyelids were heavy as though she'd drunk one too many beers.

"… How about death?" she whispered, the hint of a joke on her teeth.

"That's morbid, sweet cheeks." I said kindly, as though discussing what to have for lunch, "What about 'sunshine'?"

"Fine, sunshine will do." The girl pouted in reluctant agreement, "If we say it for now on, it counts, yeah?"

"Absolutely." I kept tight to Kurisu's arm. Never mind that safe words were for the obscene and violent. This situation certainly fit the criteria in my mind. It was a intellectual fight! "Where were we?"

Kurisu tugged on my shirt.

I looked deep into her eyes. Her last request had been disrobement.

"You don't really want to see me without a shirt, do you?" I wondered, sheepish.

"I could ask the same to you." Kurisu shrugged. "I won't judge you."

Those words were honest, so it was far easier to comply.

"Neither will I."

"Good."

I wanted to add another joke for good measure, but Kurisu gave my shirt another tug. I gently let go of her arm, and she slowly lifted my shirt up above my head. I shivered, praying for sympathy, as cold washed over me.

The beauty threw my shirt to the side, and she looked me up and down. I tried to cover myself. My skin was bony, pale and unsightly, the one extreme on the spectrum of undesirable nerd.

"Hey, scrawny," she said sharply, but she smiled, "You don't need to hide."

"I think I do," I protested.

Kurisu giggled. "Nah."

She leant forward and kissed me. She ran a hand through my hair. I tried to forget I was wearing nothing. Kurisu's kisses became wetter, more daring and my body grew fervid. With a jolt I felt her warm chest press against me. It was a comforting, yet exhilarating gesture. I almost ran out of breath.

"My dear Kurisu," I murmured awed between kisses, "I can just imagine how beautiful you must be underneath tha…."

More kisses. The girl's hand ran down from my hair, the back of my neck, my bony spine and around to my belt. I grabbed her hand and moved it upwards.

"Sorry," she murmured.

"That's quite alright, Clarissa."

She didn't correct me.

Slow down the kisses. Keep them wet and longing. Yes, like that. How wonderful she was. I gently ran my hand along her collarbone, unsure of whether to go further. To my surprise, Kurisu grabbed my hand and gently pressed it against one of her breasts.

Oh my god.

I was too overwhelmed with an absolute lust for Miss Kurisu to hold back my gentlemanly like manner. I groaned.

Taking that as encouragement, the woman pushed me backward. With little to stop me, I fell right onto my back.

"ARGh! It's cold." I cringed, trying to recover.

"Weakling."

Her reply was as icy as the ground.

Kurisu was too caught up in her desire to hold up conversation. She crawled over me, and pulled down part of her blouse with a finger, exposing a deep violet bra. I probably looked scared because she let go.

"Do you want me, Okabe?" she asked with a hint of sassiness in her voice. She was enjoying teasing me. The girl bent down and pressed her nose to mine.

"Wh-what's the right answer?" I asked, cautiously. Enough with the games, just tell me the truth.

Kurisu laughed. She let her weight fall down onto my groin. That was the breaking point. I could feel her underwear from beneath her skirt pressing against my hips. My physiology was completely prepared to go all the way, beyond all my mental capacity and logic.

The girl noticed and blushed. We were lucky virgins. Is this how these affairs usually go?

"Y-you're …" I stuttered, but I had the worst mental blank in the universe.

Kurisu sat up and attempted to rub her underwear against me. She was so soft. I must feel so hard to her. How girls find pleasure in sitting on something akin to machinery is a mystery. Was it the cause of hormones or just illogical impulses?

Her breathing became heavy.

"Am I weirding you out?" she asked.

"Not any more than I weird myself out." I took a deep breath, "I, uh…"

How could I even begin to explain what I wanted to say?

"What do you want?" the beauty asked. She leant down to me, pressing her breasts against my chest. She took one of my hands and gently pressed my fingers against her lips. Slightly terrified of how this would make my thinking capacity worse, I pushed two of my fingers into her mouth. She began to hesitantly suck them. I groaned.

"Kurisu!" I moaned, squirming against her curvy body, "I… you're so…"

"Irresistible?"

"Yes, that."

"Sexy?"

"Of course!"

My voice was breaking now. Why did she have to sound like heaven?

"What do you want?" she murmured.

"I…uh…"

Sweat dripped down my face, salty and hot. I pushed my hips up against her and tried to pleasure myself through her. Kurisu's breathing became almost high pitched.

"O-okabe?" she asked.

"Yes, my dear?"

"Please," she begged.

"Please what?"

Kurisu bit her lip. Her face was red. She grabbed my hand, and put it to her breast again.

"Take it off," she said simply. Kurisu tried to pull my arm up, but it didn't really work.

Just being naked on my top half wasn't enough, but she wanted to see downstairs too? There was no doubt I craved for such an occurrence, but this wasn't just about me… for once.

I looked into her eyes. Is this really what she wanted? None of us had said the safe word, so one could assume It was fine. Kurisu's eyes were watering out of desperation and she nodded.

I stopped what I was doing and slowly pulled Kirisu's shirt off. I almost wanted to vomit because the emotions were so intense. I removed the clothes so slowly and carefully it was like trying to measure out two drops of Acetaldehyde. Her stomach folds creased and somehow made her inward belly button more charming and adorable. The curves of her backside were equally gorgeous, smooth and round. Her breasts were shapely, held in the violet undergarment. Casual fare, but wonderful nonetheless.

Before Kurisu could utter a word she bent down and kissed me. She lifted her hips off me, and motioned my saliva covered hand towards her underwear. I gasped between the kisses. She gently pressed upwards, and guided my fingers in a slow, rocking motion. When I took over, she let go.

"Hey, Okabe," she asked, quite seriously.

"Y-yes? Dearest Kurisu?"

"Um…" she blushed again, "Do you want to try going all the way?"

A fire erupted inside, a thirst that could only be quenched by the taste of her tender skin and gorgeous wet innards of joy.

"Is that viable right now?" I asked.

Kurisu nodded. "I always come prepared for my experiments."

"You, my dear, are far cleverer than your appearance suggests."

She hit me. "Shut up."

"Just say when." I said. I abandoned Kurisu's sweet underwear and pushed her onto her back. The girl laughed.

"You think you can handle me?"

"I think so."

I let my inner pervert loose. I ran kisses from her collarbone down to her breasts, over her bra and went further down. I trailed one of my hands up her inner thigh and towards her underwear as I did this. Kissing her stomach, I repeated the action Kurisu had shown me. Slow, gentle rubs over her womanly district. No doushinji wisdom could save me now. I could feel how damp her entrance was through her underwear. A distinct patch let off a unique scent, one I daresay was quite appealing to the primitive part of my brain.

"Go faster," Kurisu whispered.

"As you wish, my lady."

Her moans were beautiful. I could almost sense how badly she wanted me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. A particular tone to her voice enticed me. She pressed my hand closer to her, and I increased the pressure. Tired of listening to her commands alone, I grabbed hold of one of her hands, and I slowly replaced the other hand with my mouth. I kissed her through the fabric. Kurisu started to exclaim words of pleasure.

Which words, you may ask? It would not do much good to write them. The important thing is they all brimmed with a desire so strong I could tell she had lost her mind. It was the temptation that was murderous. I knew better than anyone I had no idea what I was doing. We were pathetic virgins after all.

I lazily tried to poke my tongue around her underwear to touch her skin. Kurisu let out a sound akin to fake sobbing. She maneuverer her legs around so we could pull one section of her underwear free. She pulled my hair.

"Do what you were doing with your fingers," she said.

"Understood, ma'am."

I tried the best I could to muster the coordination, and as her wetness started to get over my nose I couldn't resist the sensations I had myself.

"I'm terribly sorry, my love, but I don't think I can resist you any longer."

Between strangled moans, the woman pointed to the corner of the room, where her handbag was sitting.

With a hurried interlude, I handed Kirisu her handbag and she rushed through at impressive speed. Surely enough she picked one of those small plastic monstrosities'.

"Will it fit?" she asked, holding it up.

"Only one way to find out."

I unbuckled my belt, and Kurisu sat up.

"Please let me."

She pulled off my belt and, as scared as I was, it was strangely relaxing to have her unbutton and unzip my pants.

"What do I do?" she asked, blushing slightly.

I kissed her on the cheek. "Don't worry, dear. We can go through that another time. Would you like to swap places?"

"Erm….. that would probably be best."

I wasn't dumb enough to assume that Kurisu would be able to take this if it was her first go. Hell, I'd be lucky if I didn't get overly excited and make a fool of my brilliant self. I lay down, blushing as Kurisu pulled off my pants. With my briefs, it took a gentle "Hey, I won't judge you, remember?" before I let her.

As though choosing her as Queen, I let her put the plastic monstrosity on, all the while very self-conscious of the fact she couldn't stop staring.

"Erm, I apologize if my anatomy is not up to your standard."

"Nah, that doesn't bother me," she gulped and an innocent fear filled her eyes. "I just hope it doesn't hurt."

She positioned herself over me, and let herself down as to just feel the tip. I tried to position everything properly with one of my free hands.

"There's no hurry." I said, forgetting some of my nerves by how accepting the girl was of me, "What's important is no one gets hurt."

Kurisu smiled and let out a deep breath "Ok. Thank you."

It took a good part of five minutes, a deal of anxiety, bits of "Ouch", "Ow" and "That doesn't feel right." before everything was in the places it was supposed to be. Kurisu took in deep breaths. There was a hypnotizing flushed look about her face.

"How are you?" she asked.

"Never better… yourself?"

"I'm ready… almost."

I ran my hands over Kurisu 's gorgeous hips and skirt, admiring her breasts covered by that bra. Kurisu slowly began to move back and forth. It took a bit of adjusting and then we hit the right spot. I let out a moan I couldn't withhold and Kurisu followed suit. Well… I suppose it made sense from an evolutionary perspective that we would find similar movements pleasurable.

Her breathing got faster, as we gradually increased the speed. My eyes rolled into my head and I suppressed a cackle, "My god, Kurisu, you've got a mighty good set of womanly weapons down there."

The scientist chuckled."Yep. All the more to induce embarrassing noises out of you."

"I will never submit to your cruel plans."

"Want a bet?"

Kisses… too many kisses… the scent of her sweat, the feel of her warmth covering me… the heat, oh god, the heat… the tables had turned in more ways than one. Kurisu breathing was heavy, but she was able to keep a level head. She whispered profanities in my ear, making sure I didn't see the light of day. I am quite ashamed to admit I liked her dirty talk.

There is a reason why we are never supposed to imagine others making love to each other. It strips you naked of more than just your clothes. Your mind, your desires…. The dirtiest tricks, and most disgusting of sounds… these things are designed to be shared with someone who loves you, someone who will not judge you, and someone who is willing to uncover those secrets.

Kurisu was able to peel back my mad scientist façade to someone quite unskilled and unconventional. I noticed we had more in common than I realized. It seems we were on a similar wavelength when it came to these matters as well. Our moans got louder each time like some absurd sport. Limits and definitions erased from my vocabulary as I became more incomprehensible.

"Kurisu …" I groaned, "I can't take this. I don't… want it to stop."

"What if I want you to take it?"

"I-I don't want to."

"Pathetic."

"Why? You're so cruel."

"You're the one who's the mad scientist."

I held her close to me, as I simultaneously tried to pound myself into her, yet, there was only so far you can go.

"K- Kurisu," I choked, as I began to shake all over. I could tell this scared her, despite her act of the confident temptress.

"Okabe?" she asked uncertainly, so quiet I almost couldn't hear.

I dare not try describing the sounds that escaped my lips at that moment. It could have disturbed a neighbourhood. Kurisu held onto me, so tight I thought my bones might snap. Colours flashed past my closed eyelids as my orgasm lessened. 

I collapsed in a rotten heap, like the deadest of corpses. My breathing was deep and slow. Kurisu lay down on top of me. I had a conviction her demands were not over, but she stayed there with me.

"I- I love you, Okabe," she said.

"And I, you, Kurisu." I sighed, "Thank you."


End file.
